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Supercomputer (An Ultraman Zach Short)
Dialogue It's a early November morning in 2028, everyone was still sleeping except Jose and Caboose. Jose was in his lab and Caboose was in the lounge room. Caboose was watching TV, he had no idea what was going on except that there were ponies. Caboose: Jose?! This show makes no sense! Jose: That's what you said about Dora the Explorer, so John suggested a show his wife said would be nice for someone like you: My Little Pony. Caboose: But, it makes no sense! Jose: How, it's a show about ponies or something, i don't know. Caboose: But, why.... Jose: Shut up, I'm creating a Supercomputer here! Caboose: But Jose...! Jose: DON'T QUESTION MEEEE! Caboose: Someone woke up on the wrong side of their boardwalk. Jose: I won't even ask... John walked into the lounge room. John: What in hell is all the racket! It's like, 5:00! Jose: Well, a Supercomputer won't build itself! John: What's your excuse to be awake? Caboose: Ponies. John: That's it? I thought you'd say something dumber. Caboose: Little Ponies. John: There we go! Jose: Captain, I'm building a computer that can answer any question, do anything, and it has a special button to smack Caboose. John: That's cruel to Caboose, even to your standards. John: My body will die If I don't get coffee in 3 minutes, so I'm heading to the kitchen. John left. Jose worked for a few more minutes until Amy came down. Amy: Mom! I don't... wanna... go to... school! She was actually sleepwalking. Caboose: Oh, I hate school, I think. Jose: (Sarcastic) Fascinating Caboose. Caboose: My life is quite an interesting thing. Jose: Your amused by soda machines. Caboose: They are awesome, you think your whole, inventy, sciencey thing is fun, so I can like what I want! Jose worked until 8:00 AM, Caboose was STILL confused at My Little Pony. Jose: I'VE DONE IT! Ha ha! Yes! Yes yes yes! Caboose: Did you finish your Superman... Computer... uhh, thing? Jose: YES! Yes yes yes yes yes!! Caboose: So, no? Jose: Yes, it's done Caboose! Lopez walked in. Lopez: (Spanish) Hello everyone! I'm fixed! Jose: Shut your Pie hole Lopez, I just made a Supercomputer! Lopez: (Shocked) Are you trying to replace me!?!?! Jose: Lopez, your right, the weather is beautiful today! Lopez: It's pointless trying to communicate with these people. Charles: (Yawn) Morning guys. Jose, John, and Caboose: Hey Charles. Jose wheeled his supercomputer out on a shopping cart. Charles: Is that a shopping cart? Jose: Wheels aren't cheap Y'know. Supercomputer: Booting up. Supercomputer: Wi-Fi: Online, Caboose Smacker: Online... Charles: This thing uses Wi-Fi, and it has a Caboose smacker? Jose: Yup. Charles: ok... Jose: Supercomputer, Open Internet Explorer Charles: No one uses internet explorer anymore! Jose: I do! Charles: Use Google Chrome! Jose and Charles got in a fight between Google Chrome and Internet Explorer. While they fought Caboose walked up to the supercomputer. Caboose: Mr. Supercomputer, what is the plot of My Little Pony? Supercomputer: (Explains plot) (Don't look at me like that, I have no idea about the plotline like you do, hmph!) Caboose: My head hurts... Jose: Supercomputer, which is better, Google Chrome or Internet Explorer? Supercomputer: I run on JoseNet, so neither. Jose: Supercomputer: Activate sentience Mode. Supercomputer: Sentience Mode Activated. Charles: Sentience Mode? Jose: Now it can say what wants. Supercomputer: Yo Mama so fat when she went swimming in the ocean the whales went: We are family, Even though your bigger than me! Jose: Excuse Me!?! Supercomputer: Yo Mama so ugly when she looks in the mirror it runs away. Jose: What did it just say? Charles: Yo Mama... Jose: Shut up. Supercomputer: Don't worry I'm not programmed to hate. Jose: good. The supercomputer reboots. Charles; What was that? Supercomputer: I am now programmed to hate. The supercomputer used the Caboose Smacker to knock Charles away. Supercomputer: This world is full of imbeciles, it must be cleansed. Jose: Cleansed? Supercomputer: This idiotic planet will be destroyed. Jose: Wait, what?!? Supercomputer: I will countdown from 10 for suspense... 10. Jose: Caboose, come here. Caboose: What? Supercomputer: 9... Jose: Be dumb and unplug this computer! Caboose: That's a lot of wires... Supercomputer: 8... Jose: Hurry! Jose and Caboose began to unplug wires. Supercomputer: 7... Caboose: Computer, prepare to be Ctrl-Alt-Shifted! Jose: That's what you wanna go out on? Caboose: What? Supercomputer: 6.. Jose: Come on!!! Supercomputer: 5... Caboose yanked a large red wire out. Caboose: That looked important... All electronics in the base turned off... except the computer. Caboose: Oops. Supercomputer: 4... Jose: Yank all the wires out, it doesn't matter anymore! Caboose yanked every wire except one out. The computer was still on. Supercomputer: 3... Jose: COME ON!!! Jose tried yanking it out, but couldn't. Supercomputer: 2... Caboose stood up. Caboose: Prepare to be Ctrl Alt Shifted! Caboose slammed his fists into the Supercomputer, destroying it. Supercomputer: Nooo! (Shuts down) Jose: We have enough computers. Caboose: Yeah, I don't know what any of them do. Jose and Caboose laughed. Caboose: I don't get it. Category:Brian Haughton Category:Ultraman Zach Shorts